wondering? muse

Friday midnight, 2:19 am

I'm here, savored the warm english tea with rose
and recall all the conversation with my friend,this evening,
after all the happy and warm dialogue
she said:" u all know wat u wan so good"
im perplexed, and ask myself, do i give everyone the impression that
i have no worries, happy and never lost ,and know what to pursue
perhaps my friends think that i'm in bliss...
hmm.. perhaps i am. i must confess this.
BUT as a human being, this kind of creature,
at least, i am. i always try to ...

like majority, i am lost and wondering:


PERHAPS i knew already,actually, what i'm interest in, in the very early state,
just that i have no courage to do..
im confuse? im lost?
no, i dont think i am..

unconciously, i truly know..
now, i just wish to
and i know , i ill go to pursue my dream...
a very simple lifetime--- perhaps a carefree lifetime..
writing a story, drawing, playing pianoforte...

watsover, i think i'm pursuing my dream already,
because im always writing a story(always incomplete though), drawing, playing pianoforte
lol..^^
i.. always caught up in such time..

sometimes what we are doing is not what we are pursuing,
we always try to hide our most precious things.. in our inner thought..
perhaps.. is so-called... hmm..
thanks to her, make me realize this.^^

ps: wish her all the best!^^

Night

Thursday night, 12:03
Time passing by, and I still caught up in the mood of my one month holiday,
Still… like usual, stay up late and
Sit at the balcony and feel the breezing wind and silent night…
Sometimes, I’m wondering… should I thank to insomnia…
Because of it, I’m, able to admire and moved by all the grand and serene beauty of the night,
I felt blessed. Due to the display of this enchantment…
Suddenly recall what Abbe Marigan’s doubt (from Clair de Lune, Maupassant)
“Since night is destined for sleep, unconsciousness, repose, forgetfulness of everything, why make it more charming than day, softer than dawn or evening? And does why this seductive planet, more poetic than sun, that seems destined, so discreet is it, to illuminate things too delicate and mysterious for the light of day, make the darkness so transparent?”
And many why
“PERHAPS GOD HAS MADE SUCH NIGHTS AS THESE IDEALIZE THE LOVE OF MEN…”
或许
这幅无上之美的景物，这种从天上投到地下的无边诗境
是为了安抚疲劳的人们而设的
或许
只为了打破常规， 不眠于此时的生物而设的
或许
是月神不愿与万物博彩，而甘愿默默照亮大地，温暖一切黑暗的事物与生物。。
但愿能带给他们温暖与慰藉吧
又或许
只是我任性的以为 夜色更加夺目
其实，一切都很简单单纯
又何须疑惑
呵。。
或许吧。。
这样才能带来乐趣。。 点缀夜空。。^^

wondering.. what should i put in to my very first post..
hmm... what about diary? hah

midnight, 3:12 am
im still awake, feel abit dizzy-due to fever..
perhaps everyone is sleeping-having dreams
and me, muse- still
enjoying looking at the scented night garden..
enjoy silent night..
but, its time to sleep, and saying goodnight to 'insomnia'



hmm.. time to sleep
no insomnia, perhaps.^^